A woman I know has told her husband she wants a divorce. She has filed for a divorce, but they haven’t told the kids.
Her current plan is to tell the kids after the divorce is already final and on the day their Dad is moving out.
I personally think this is a bad plan. I have never had to give kids this type of information, and I hope I to God I never have to. However, I think kids need a little time to get used to the idea of the divorce and of Dad moving out before he actually moves out. I think that would be terribly upsetting to be told and then have Dad move out that day.
She is also wondering what reason to give the kids. Friends have suggested to say that they fell out of love, but she doesn’t think that’s a good enough reason to get divorced. Also she doesn’t want the kids to worry that they will fall out of love with them.
She’s learning toward saying that mommy and daddy are no longer a good team. She thinks that would be understandable to the kids.
Is it better to rip the off the bandage and have Dad move out the day they find out or ease them into it? What if they don’t have everything figured out? Is it worse to give kids some warning but not have all the answers or wait until you have everything figured out and give them no warning? What is your best advice to make this less traumatic for the kid?